


Precious Love

by penguin_bowtie



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-17 01:26:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9298043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguin_bowtie/pseuds/penguin_bowtie
Summary: “I don’t think it’s stupid that you still like her this much, but sulking won't bring her back, you know?"Based on Twice's Precious Love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Twice's Precious Love. Rated M just to err on the safe side, it probably won't have any scenes that are too explicit.

Momo’s head is slightly palpitating. She has been with her forehead stuck against the condensed window for at least ten minutes now, while outside the rain is so strong she can’t quite make out the scenery.

“Stop this,” Sana’s voice is gentle as she quietly sits in the bed right next to the older girl. Momo rests her temple against the window to look at her friend.

“Stop what?” She asks, her tone comes out flat and Sana frowns prettily, “This, this whole pining thing. It doesn’t suit you, you know.”

Momo sighs and feels her forehead against the palm of her hand. It’s cold and the pulsating feeling has turned into a moderate headache. She goes limp against the bed laying her head on a pillow, waiting for her forehead to regain sensibility. She feels annoyed by the look Sana is sporting, eyes wide and upturned eyebrows. Like she pities her. She closes her eyes so she won’t have to look at it anymore.

“It doesn’t suit me,” Momo murmurs quietly and suddenly the pit of her stomach feels hot. She feels the anger bubbling and her jaw locks.

“It doesn’t. Why won’t you–“

“Shut up,” Momo snaps. Her voice is calm, cold. Sana is a little bit taken aback and Momo sits up, her mouth a thin line, “Just…shut up, okay? Do you think it matters if it suits me or not? Do you think that I want to sit here, feeling sorry for myself?” her voice escalates a little as she lets out her frustration and her eyes well up. She hates this. She hates feeling like this. It’s embarrassing, “I don’t, okay? So get off my case, because I already feel stupid enough without having you to remind me, alright?”

Sana’s expression darkens. She opens her mouth but then seems to think better of it and just stands up, reaching for the door of the room. She stops right before turning the knob and turns around to face the older girl.

“I don’t think it’s stupid that you still like her this much Momo yah, what it’s stupid is that you are here feeling sorry for yourself when you should be showing how much you care for her in a way she can appreciate. Sulking won’t bring her back, you know?”

The door clicks softly once Sana is out and Momo has to restrain herself from going after her and screaming her head off. Her friend has never been one to hold back and can be specially blunt when she feels strongly about something. Momo knows Sana is right and this frustrates her to no end. _Sulking won’t bring her back, you know?_  

Contrary to what everyone believes Momo is not that dense. She knows there is no purpose to lying in bed the whole day, in and out of sleep, feeling blue. If she could she would feel anything but this, she wants to feel angry, she wants to rage and destroy things, but all she feels is sadness. What Sana doesn’t know is that she isn’t here because of some sense of pride, because she doesn’t want to face Mina and tell her she loves her, that she is still insanely attracted to her, that she can’t stop thinking about the younger girl.

 She feels powerless.

 All she wants is to get Mina back, but she knows that it isn’t right. That Mina hurt a lot while they were together, that she wasn’t able to love her properly. That she made her miserable.

 She can’t go after Mina because she deserves better, because she’s lovely and perfect and Momo… Momo just isn’t enough.

 So she’s stuck here, feeling sorry for herself.

 

[…]

 

Mina scans the classroom quickly. It’s been a week since classes started and the blonde haired girl hasn’t showed up to a single of the classes the younger girl knows they share. The feeling to this fact is strange, she can’t help the relief she feels at not having to see Momo, and she can’t help the worry either. She shakes her head quickly, trying to get rid of her thoughts.

 “Unnie, where are you sitting?” Mina is relieved by the distraction that is Chaeyoung’s voice and smiles softly at the younger girl shaking her head to answer that she hasn’t got one yet, “Just got here, Chaeng.”

 Chaeyoung nods easily and then grabs her hand, pulling her towards a table in the middle of the room, next to her.

 Sana watches the exchange with interest before deciding to follow the pair and sits right next to Mina. Mina feels herself tense at the presence of the older girl, her eyes scanning wildly around to check for Momo, however it seems that Sana is here alone.

 “Minari~, long time no see, huh?” Sana speaks cutely, all smiling eyes and pouty lips and Mina feels flustered, “Sana unnie, hello,” She responds softly.

 “Sana unnie, are you here alone?” Chaeyoung butts in casually and Sana doesn’t miss the glint in the young girl’s eyes.

 She decides to approach the topic directly, “ Ah yeah, I’ve been coming to class alone all week. Momo is not feeling too well.”

 There’s an edge to Sana’s voice and Mina doesn’t miss the strained eye contact happening between Sana and Chaeyoung. She can’t help herself from reacting to the older girl’s statement though, “Is she—Is she okay?”

 Sana smiles a little at Chaeyoung before facing Mina once again while Chaeyoung rolls her eyes, “She just came down with the flu. It got her pretty bad, I think, but she’s getting better,” she pauses a little and thinks of inviting her over…She decides not to test her luck and also she doesn’t want to put Mina in an uncomfortable situation, “Don’t worry about it, she’ll be alright soon enough!” dropping the subject as the teacher arrives.

 

[…]

 

Momo walks through campus with her stomach in knots. She knows she can’t afford to miss anymore classes if she wants to be able to understand anything before the exams. She pondered how terrible would it be to fail them all but as she imagined her parents disappointed faces there was no other way than to get a little brave and face the music.

 She strides into the classroom, looking straight ahead and wearing a blank expression. She jumps when a hand clutches her shoulder and is relieved to find out is Sana’s.

 “You made it,” The girl smiles reassuringly and Momo feels herself loosening a bit. She nods and Sana drags her to the back so they can take their seats.

 Since she has been absent for a week, a lot of people want to catch up with her and she makes up stories to excuse her absence. She is so absorbed by this that she is startled when someone shouts “Unnie, here!” across the room.

 It’s Mina.

 Mina is by the door and she is being called by a cute girl and Momo feels dizzy. Mina is by the door looking innocently around and Momo will actually throw up.

 Sana squishes her thigh in a reassuring gesture and Momo smiles weakly, her face pale. It’s Mina, Mina climbing the classroom’s stairs to join some girl Momo has no recollection of and…It’s Mina. Mina in dark skinny jeans and a white blouse, looking as lovely as ever.

It’s Mina, suddenly crossing stares with her and is not lost in Momo the way her face falls. It takes everything in her but she gives the other girl a small nod and a smile and beautiful, polite Mina tries giving it back, however her face contorts into something more resembling of a grimace.

 When the younger girl finally takes her seat, Momo’s face also falls.

 

[…]

 

It’s already been a month of awkward smiles and polite nods and while it hasn’t gotten any easier to see Mina around, Momo is comforted by the fact that she can see her at all. 

From her seat in the back of the room she gets distracted by Mina’s pretty hair, by her graceful hands when she explains something to her friends, by her soft voice when she makes a question. It’s been eight months since they broke up, seven since Mina’s hurried exchange program and Mina still consumes most of her thoughts. She’s pathetic.

 

[…]

 

“Come on~” Sana whines and Momo is this close to hitting her upside the head.

“Noo. Leave me!”

“Momo! I promised our friends we would go to this party!” Sana huffs, grabbing her by the arm and stomping her feet.

“There’ll be other parties!" 

“I want to go to this one!”

 “Then go! There’s no need to drag me around, they’ll understand,” she explains and Sana looks at her flatly, “Momo, look, you haven’t been to a party since we came back to the dorms. You need to have some fun!”

 “No, let me be.”

 

[…]

 

Momo still isn’t sure how it came to be like this, but here she is, right next to Sana, Dahyun and Jeongyeon, entering a party she vowed she wouldn’t come to. Sana really is something.

“Come on Momo, I know you have been down in the dumps for a while, but it’s time to get you back!” Jeongyeon shouts so Momo can hear her over the music, “Let’s go get some shots in that body of yours and you’ll feel much better!” 

That’s how she gets dragged to a cramped kitchen with more than enough liquor to light up the whole party –quite literally–, she thinks grimly

They down two shots of Tequila each, to get buzzed as quickly as possible, and then Momo gets a beer from the fridge to avoid being coerced into drinking vodka or whatever spirit of choice Jungyeon has under her sleeve.

 

[…]

 

It’s been around half an hour since she’s lost all of her friends and at least three hours since they got there. Momo cruises around the house uninterestedly and already sober. After the shots, the couple of beers she has been nursing since then have had exactly no effect. Momo wonders if she’s at the stage where her body will reject any fun purely to keep her miserable.

She is wondering around with her head down when she crushes into another body, her can of beer falling to the floor with a heavy thunk and she mutters a curse under her breath.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she hears a soft voice and even under the very loud music she is able to recognise it immediately. Momo looks up and freezes in place. She hasn’t been this close to Mina in forever and her whole body locks as she stares at the girl.

Mina, who has just looked up as well, blushes prettily and Momo has to stop herself from reaching for a red tinted cheek.

“Unnie,” Mina says breathlessly and Momo’s whole body flushes but finally springs into action,

“Oh Mina, I’m sorry as well, I wasn’t looking…” She apologises, waving her hands around and then putting them up as if in surrender, “I’ll go get another,” she excuses herself looking for the quickest way out from the corner of her eye and turning around.

She is shocked when Mina grabs her hand shyly, “Can I come with you?” She asks, her hair obscuring her face and Momo thinks her heart will just explode out of her chest. She nods enthusiastically instead of answering with words –she doesn’t trust her voice yet– and lets herself be dragged to the kitchen once again.

Since it’s already well into the party, the kitchen is unexpectedly empty and quiet by the time they get there. Momo attributes it to a heated beer pong contest going on in the basement and the drunken dance battle people are having in the living room. She thinks she saw Dahyun doing an aggressive version of her eagle dance just a few minutes ago so she really wonders if it is a dance battle at all but then again, her thoughts can’t go much further than that as Mina stops and stands right in front of her.

“What were you drinking,” Mina asks quietly and Momo is just stunned by her everything. She realises Mina must have been at the party for a while now because even though she’s lost the intense red from her blushing earlier, her cheeks retain a pretty looking soft pink. The kind you get when you’ve had a more than a little bit to drink. Momo wonders if that’s the reason Mina has decided to pay any attention to her at all.

Mina is wearing a white cropped top and a black short skirt and Momo gulps. She reasons that she hasn’t been able to have a real interaction with the younger girl for so long that of course seeing her like this will up her heart rate a bit.

“Um, Momo unnie?” Mina repeats and Momo flinches apologetically when she realises she has been staring at the younger girl like a creep instead of answering, “Uh, I was having a beer.”

Mina wordlessly walks to the fridge and gets a beer for Momo. She offers the can and the older girl is extra careful not to rub her hand against Mina’s, fearing making the moment more awkward.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to get–“

“It’s nothing,” Mina utters, putting her hair behind her ear and effectively cutting Momo.

A heavy silence falls upon them even with the music thumping loudly in the background and Momo sighs, looking at everything but Mina, taking a big gulp of her recently opened beer. The silence starts getting more oppressing and even if Momo doesn’t want to cut the moment short, she wonders if Mina is after all regretting spending this time with her. She chances a look at Mina’s face and her mouth goes dry.

Mina is staring at her, her mouth specifically, through half-lidded eyes, and Momo feels her throat swallowing compulsively as a nervous response. Now she definitely knows that Mina is at least tipsy.

_“Unnie,” Mina rasps as she enters Momo’s room, padding across the rug._

_“Huh? Mina? What are you doing here?” Momo is surprised by the younger girl’s sudden appearance, it’s already one in the morning and she knows they haven’t made any plans._

_“Sana unnie let me in,” she giggles a little into her palm and continues walking towards Momo “She was on her way out, I think,” she trails off. There is something a little bit weird about the way she is moving, Momo thinks. The younger girl is usually very proper and composed, and while right now she still looks graceful there’s something about the way her limbs are moving that seems much…looser?_

_Momo blinks rapidly as she walks backwards, sitting on her bed while Mina just keeps charging at her, “Mina, are you okay?” She asks and the younger girl nods wordlessly until she reaches Momo and sits astride her lap._

_There are alarms ringing all over Momo’s head and she gulps as Mina stares directly at her through bedroom eyes._

_Momo isn’t a prude by any means and she and Mina have engaged in sexual activities more than once since they started dating, however it always starts kind of sweetly and Mina has definitely never been too straight forward about it. Momo can’t even remember a time where Mina has initiated when it comes to their bedroom activities and so while welcome, this is a strange development._  

_Mina’s breath brushes across Momo’s lips and the older girl realises Mina must be drunk, the smell of alcohol quickly reaching her nostrils, but before she can say anything Mina has sprung forward, her hands running through Momo’s hair and neck, and her lips latch onto Momo’s lower lip, sucking softly on it before slowly letting it go and taking Momo’s mouth more fully._

_Momo will surely die. Mina has always had this prim and proper kind of behaviour that to be completely honest, Momo finds so hot. The way her elegant neck works, her jawline, the way her mouth quirks just a bit when she finds something amusing, the lines of her hands as she makes delicate gestures. Momo craves it all, she finds her alluring doing just the most menial of tasks. However, this? This Mina that is swiping her tongue against the roof of her mouth and raking her nails against her back will make her spontaneously combust._

_Her foggy brain thinks this is a good time to remind herself that she smelled alcohol in the other girl’s breath and while by now they’re both hot and bothered, the other girl will probably wake up in her bed with no recollection of this moment, and she would rather spend the whole night anguishing over having had the opportunity to have Mina like this than actually taking it and making the other girl in any way uncomfortable the next morning._

Momo remembers clearly that night Mina went to find her and she guesses that maybe the younger girl gets hot when she drinks a little bit too much. This thought troubles her a little. Has Mina been drunk these past eight months? Has she gotten a little bit more aggressive because of it? With whom?!

She shakes her head violently and swallows the unexpected bout of jealousy. Her movement seems to alert Mina a little bit as well and the younger girl breathes deeply before looking at the roof, seemingly searching for composure. Momo is relieved by this. There is not a chance in hell she would not want Mina ever, but she would never take advantage of her this way –even if she has to admit that she feels ashamed that the thought crossed her mind, not to take advantage per se but Mina just seems so irresistible to her, and now that she is also out of reach her brain went into overdrive at the opportunity.–

She leaves her half-full can of beer in the counter and looks over at Mina once more, opting for a smile, “Did you come with Nayeon?” She asks gently and Mina blinks rapidly at the question. Momo guesses the alcohol in her is peaking and she has a little bit of trouble focusing.

“Um, yes. No. I mean, I met Nayeon unnie here but I…I came with Chaeyoung.”

Over this last month of awkward exchanges in class Momo has come to know, from afar, Chaeyoung. She’s pretty, she’s cool and seems protective of Mina. Momo’s blood gets a little bit hotter.

“And uh, do you want me to find Chaeyoung for you?” Quite honestly the amount of effort that sentence requires makes Momo grit her teeth, Mina however is unaware and shakes her head no.

“She went off with some boy…um, I told her I would meet her back in the room.”

“Oh, you’re roommates?”

Mina nods. “Do you want me to walk you home then?” Momo offers nervously and Mina stares at the ground, seemingly deep in thought.

“If you feel uncomfortable you can just say no, you know, I just want to make sure you–“ Momo rambles on and on and Mina finally looks up, her mouth quirking a little bit and Momo’s eyes just get softer at the sight.

“Yes, please take me home.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is, the second chapter. 
> 
> I think that the chapters might be a bit short, however since I don't have much time to write, is either these kind of updates or just waiting longer so I can put something a little bit longer together. I wonder. Let me know what you think about that, and also about the chapter. Hope you enjoy and we'll see each other soon enough!

 

_Mina nods. “Do you want me to walk you home then?” Momo offers nervously and Mina stares at the ground, seemingly deep in thought._

_“If you feel uncomfortable you can just say no, you know, I just want to make sure you–“ Momo rambles on and on and Mina finally looks up, her mouth quirking a little bit and Momo’s eyes just get softer at the sight._

_“Yes, please take me home.”_

 

[…]

 

Mina is woken up by the sound of a construction. Mina finds out shortly that the construction is inside her head and it sounds more like a demolition site.

She probably had one too many drinks last night.

To be honest there is just one other time that Mina remembers feeling like death after drinking, and it happened while she was still dating Momo. Her cheeks flare up with heat as she recalls the event.

Fortunately her headache is way too strong to put much effort into remembering something from almost a year ago.

She tries stretching with as little power as possible and then weakly reaches for her phone, half opening one eye to catch the time.

It’s 12.30 in the afternoon, saturday.

Also, she has 8 notifications.

3 of them are WhatsApp messages.

One of them is from Momo.

The demolition into Mina’s head turns out into a full out war: _I was glad to do it…it was nice talking to you again._

Horror is too tame of a feeling to describe Mina’s current emotion.

Momo’s message not only seems like a response, but it has activated some flashbacks in the back of Mina’s head about last night, and while she still remembers too little to get a clear picture, she can vividly see Momo standing with her in the kitchen in her mind’s eye.

 _How stupid can you be?!_ Mina berates herself and feels mortified to the core.

She hides her face behind her pillow, only her eyes visible, and looks at her phone the way one would a ticking bomb. It might as well be, and Mina has no idea how to defuse it. 

She is whining quietly against her pillow when Chaeyoung opens the door unceremoniously, looking for all it’s worth like a train ran her over.

“Mina unnie,” Chaeyoung’s voice is so low that Mina has to strain her ears to hear her over the wrecking ball in her head.

“Unnie, I think that the whisky with red bull Nayeon unnie gave us, wasn’t such a good idea.”

Mina won’t dignify that with an answer but she still pats the side of her bed gently, and Chaeyoung waddles over to get into the bed. The older girl is still staring at her phone from time to time and Chaeyoung gives her a questioning look.

Mina gives her a pitiful smile and the younger girl catalogues it so she can revise the subject later, when her brain is more of a brain and less of a fried egg. She nestles her head in the crook of Mina’s neck and goes completely unconscious in under five minutes.

There seems to be no reprieve for Mina though, and if when she first woke up her brain wouldn’t go through the effort of remembering her drunk episode at Momo’s place, it has completely changed its mind now. Mina is appalled by the fact that she has once again made a fool out of herself.

She remembers the incident vividly: arriving at Momo’s and Sana’s place, plopping unto her unsuspecting ex-girlfriend’s lap, kissing her like it was the only thing worth doing… 

She also remembers Momo’s rejection at the time, saying that they better wait until she isn’t drunk, that she could take her bed, that Momo was going to sleep in the couch.

Mina feels herself flush with humiliation all over again, and throws an arm against her eyes, trying to obscure the light seeping from the window.

She wonders if Momo felt repulsed by her being drunk last night as well. Wonders what they talked about. Wonders if she told Momo that her heart still skips a beat when she sees her, that she still has a folder full of pictures of their relationship, that she hasn’t been able to quite move on.

Ironically is like this, with a heavy heart, that she finally gives in to sleep.

 

[…]

 

Momo has been doing chores for most of her morning, surreptitiously looking at her phone as she pretends to be productive. When she finishes making her bed, she finally deflates a little and lets herself sit at her desk, her head in her hands.

She is making distressed noises when Sana enters the room.

“You are looking a bit rough,” she informs her roommate and Sana scowls back, while sipping some coffee.

“I have a mirror,” Sana says in lieu of a response, “Also stop making those noises, I only find them funny when I’m not dying.” 

Momo smiles, “I’m not doing them to make you laugh though,” and she flinches when Sana plops down on her freshly made bed. “Yah, I just made it!”

Sana frowns a bit, still looking cute but about three years older with the bags under her eyes, “Look, Momo. I’m gonna need you to speak like a 50% quieter, okay?”

Momo smirks at this, “Had too much fun last night?” 

Sana smiles behind her cup of coffee and Momo has missed the easy interactions. 

“What about you?” Sana asks, and her voice is so terribly soft that Momo can’t help but get suspicious.

“What about me?”

“I saw you,” Momo’s heart speeds up a little bit, she doesn’t even know why, it’s not like she did anything bad, “I, um, saw you leaving. With Mina.” Sana clarifies and her voice is sweet, as if she is talking to a wild animal and trying not to spook it. 

“Ah.”

Sana nods, “What happened?”

To be honest, Sana, while super curious about the latest development in Momo’s (lacking) romantic life, is worried, and she asks just to be sure that Momo is okay. Her roommate has been barely a shadow of her best friend these last few months, and is still hard for her to comprehend why the usually outgoing girl won’t be more aggressive at getting Mina back. It just baffles her to see her this defeated. 

“Eh, well.” What had happened? She exchanged a few words with Mina in the kitchen, she made her laugh while walking back, she made sure she got home…she fell in love all over again at the girl’s soft spoken voice, her shy smiles and bright eyes.

“I was able to turn back time,” Momo says quietly, “for a night.”

Sana leaves her cup in the nightstand and calls Momo over. They cuddle for the rest of the day and Momo sleeps with her heart a little bit lighter for the first time in a while.

  

[…]

 

Okay, so, not that bad really. Mina tries to convince herself as she stares critically at her phone.

[4.56] Mina: Thanks for walking me home.

[5.15] Momoring: I was glad to do it…it was nice talking to you again. 

She can picture the older girl perfectly in her head, saying those words in her cute voice and smiling eyes. 

And now that her headache has dial down a little bit, she remembers taking Momo’s hand, standing with Momo in the kitchen…and Momo herself, awkwardly in front of her, beautiful.

She doesn’t remember if they exchanged any words at all however, and she would be forever in the dark as to how she got home if it weren’t for Momo’s message _…it was nice talking to you again._  

She really wonders what could have been said. Do they have anything to say to each other still?

 

[…]

 

 _Sana’s eyes go wide in shock and she blinks repeatedly as Momo reports, “It’s over,” in a quiet voice._  

_“Eh, what do you mean?” She knows perfectly what she means, that this is about Momo’s and Mina’s relationship. It’s been at least two months since they hit a rough patch and, well. She didn’t think ending the relationship was an option though._

_“Mina–,” Her best friend starts and Sana can see her trembling hands from the corner of her eye, “She—Mina just…she told me she couldn’t anymore and—that this is too hard, and there is this exchange program…so she is just—“ Momo rambles in a wavering voice and Sana doesn’t understand half of what she is saying._

_“She’s leaving?” Sana’s words come out high pitched and Momo nods compulsively. “What! But then there is no way to fix anything!” she shouts in outrage and Momo just wails and breaks down in tears, while Sana flinches at her own outburst._  

 _“Okay, wait Momo, just, um,” Sana rarely gets nervous, but her insides are a bit jumpy right now. She goes to sit by Momo on the couch, as the blonde sniffles._  

_Momo and Mina’s relationship has always been a little bit of a mystery to Sana._

_The first time she met Mina, the younger girl was poised and serious. She wasn’t much of a talker, in fact Sana doesn’t remember hearing more than a couple of words out of her mouth, and she spoke so softly that if you didn’t give her your full attention there was no way to understand what she was saying. She came from some fancy all girls private school, her parents were known and respected in the educational community, and she had been formally trained in ballet for 11 years or so._

_Sana was bewildered. Mina seemed like a drama character come to life._

_And just like it would happen in a drama, Momo was swept off her feet by the younger girl._

_Momo who liked urban music and had been taking modern dance classes since she was 3 years old. Momo who was not really outspoken but radiated this aura that would call for people’s attention. Momo who was nice to a fault, and kind and a bit dim at times. Momo who was the complete opposite of Mina._  

_Then again, she figures that’s exactly why the pair works._

_So if anything surprised Sana more than the beginning of that unlikely relationship, it was the fact that it ended._

 

[…]

 

Mina picks at her sweatpants with downcast eyes while Chaeyoung just _grills_ her over last night.

“I mean, unnie, really,” the younger girl is fuming and Mina has no idea of what to say. She knows that Chaeyoung has a deep seeded dislike for Momo –all based on Nayeon’s commentary of their relationship, apparently– and while she keeps quiet over the matter, she doesn’t understand why Chaeyoung makes last night to be the end of the world. 

“Chaeng,” she starts calmly but the girl continues rambling over her, going on and on – _you shouldn’t give her the time of the day, unnie, to someone that broke your heart that way–_ and Mina just snaps.

“That’s enough,” she says with finality and Chaeyoung splutters, taken aback.

“Look, Chaeng. I’m not quite sure why you dislike Momo so deeply–“

“Because she hurt you, Mina unnie!”

Mina gives Chaeyoung a kind smile and raises her hand so the younger girl will let her end her point, “Um, my relationship with Momo didn’t work out, and I was deeply hurt by that. I’m not sure what Nayeon unnie has said to you about the whole thing but, um, Momo unnie is not a bad person, she–,” Mina sighs and while is still hard for her to talk about Momo, she feels a tad bit lighter to be able to do so, “she is kind and gentle, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated badly, okay?”

Chaeyoung frowns, unconvinced. “You just say that because you’re still in love with her,” she says abruptly and her hands immediately cover her mouth.

Mina can’t say she’s not stunned.

“That might be the case,” she can’t help that her eyes well at the admission, “but unnie is not stupid, okay? I know I can seem a bit fragile to some people, and while I am so grateful that you care for me so much, I can also protect myself, alright?”

Mina stands up and pats Chaeyoung’s leg lightly before disappearing into her room. 

Chaeyoung still has her hands over her mouth when Mina’s door clicks closed.

 

[…]

 

“Minatozaki Sana.”

Is all that Im Nayeon says to her as she grabs the chair opposite the older girl. Nayeon points to the still steaming cup in front of her, and Sana takes a sip before looking at their surroundings. She has never been to this coffee shop before, and while extremely close to campus, it is a hole in the wall kind of place, so Sana hasn’t really paid attention to it before.

There is some soft bossa nova playing in the background, and the shop is full of trinkets and vintage books and vinyls.

“Why did you call me here, unnie,” Sana has never been one to beat around the bush, neither is Nayeon. 

“I heard about last night,” Nayeon says in a serious tone and Sana’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“What about last night?”

Nayeon scoffs, “Mina and Momo.”

“Nothing happened,” Sana sighs, “and even if it had I don’t think it’s any of our business,” she adds, flagging for the waiter and asking for some sparkling water.

“I think it is my business, to stop my friends from getting hurt.”

Sana frowns at the defiant expression on Nayeon’s face. She knows the older girl means well. Nayeon was Mina’s roommate before the younger girl went to England in an Exchange Program, and so she was Mina’s confidant at the time, and witnessed first row when Momo’s and Mina’s relationship spiralled down.

She was probably much more aware than anybody else of Mina’s hardships.

It doesn’t mean she is right though, and Sana tells her as much.

“People fall in love, and people get hurt. I don’t think there is anything you can actually do to change that,” Also, Sana can’t help but feel affronted by Nayeon’s hostility towards Momo. 

“I don’t think you’re being fair to Momo or Mina by trying to stop them from getting closer.”

“So, is she actually trying?” Nayeon doesn’t miss a beat and Sana’s expression darkens.

“Not really. As far as I know, last night was something that Mina initiated,” her voice gets a little bit colder when she adds, “not that it isn’t killing Momo to keep herself far away.”

Nayeon rests her chin on the palm of her hand and studies Sana’s face. The japanese girl seems a bit crossed.

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, okay?” Nayeon sighs, “I know Momo is not a terrible person,” Sana’s expression goes flat and Nayeon raises her hands in defeat, “I know she didn’t hurt Mina on purpose.” 

Sana’s ears perk at this, her eyebrows almost reach her hairline, “Then why–“ 

“That’s exactly why,” Nayeon explains seriously, as she levels her stare with Sana’s, “She just—does things that seem innocent. She goes around playing and living life as she sees fit, and she doesn’t realise that some of these choices are going to hurt the person she loves,” she pauses a bit to sip her coffee –and Sana honestly think she does it for dramatic effect–, “Mina, like everything she does, excels at love. She gives too freely…too much,” Nayeon shrugs.

Sana blinks rapidly as the pieces start to fit. Nayeon is really good at this. 

 

[…]

 

Monday comes way too soon and Mina feels self-conscious as she enters the classroom. Chaeyoung is stuck to her back and looking like a displeased puppy as she scans the room.

Mina is honestly amused. She squeezes the younger girl’s hand and Chaeyoung relaxes a bit.

They haven’t spoken about their exchange in saturday. Mina doesn’t think there is anything else to say, but Chaeyoung has been kind of tiptoeing on eggshells around her, so she knows that she should probably say something appease the younger girl.

She is climbing the stairs when her eyes cross with Momo’s. She feels the tip of her ears going red but decides to be brave after Friday’s ordeal. Chaeyoung climbs the stairs before her, giving her a nod and sitting in their usual place and Mina raises her hand, just a little bit, and waves subtly towards Momo. 

Mina can easily catch the relief in Momo’s smile. The older girl returns the wave, her movement relaxed and sleepy, and Mina really shouldn’t be charmed.

Chaeyoung for the first time looks back, where Sana and Momo are sitting, and eyes the blonde girl curiously for a moment before turning towards the front again.

 

[…]

 

_Momo feels solid underneath Mina’s body. While the older girl is slim, the precise and tiring dances she does often, have left corded muscles behind, and Mina admires how they jump when she touches Momo randomly._

_“What are you doing?” Momo asks, her eyes don’t leave the computer screen they have been using to watch a movie. She feels Minashake her head in a negative against her neck “You don’t like the movie?” She tries again._  

_Mina just keeps burrowing her head against Momo’s neck and breathes in softly. Momo smells kind of sweetly and Mina goes slack against her arms._

_When the movie ends Momo realises Mina has fallen asleep, her breath’s hitting her neck in a constant tempo. Her right hand is under Momo’s shirt, against her stomach, and her short-cladded legs are sprawled over Momo’s own._

_Momo carefully moves the girl a bit so she’ll be able to watch her face from a less difficult angle._

_She marvels at the soft lines of Mina’s face. The younger girl will sometimes talk in her sleep, when she is particularly tired or has been having a stressful week, however her face remains as perfectly poised as when she is awake._

_Momo moves a little bit closer and traces Mina’s temple with her lips. It’s a barely there touch and kind of uncharacteristic for Momo, but she can’t help it._

_She always acts a bit softer when she is with Mina._  

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Haven't slept at all so try to ignore whatever errors there might be. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter and how things are developing. Don't hesitate if you have any questions or comments.
> 
> See you soon!

Mina is getting some coffee at the Starbucks across campus when someone bumps into her from behind. She turns around with a half-raised eyebrow. Sana is staring back, not looking a bit apologetic, and her eyes disappear as she smiles widely.

Mina can kind of see why Chaeyoung refers to her as a squirrel. In a cute kind of way, of course.

“Wah, Minarin. So scary~” she says –mocks, really– and though Mina thinks she should be annoyed, the ends of her mouth quirk a bit.

“Sana unnie,” she nods.

“So cold. We know each other well…There’s no need to be so polite, right?”

“I guess…” Mina trails off. Even though Sana seems friendly and approachable, the older girl is much sharper than they give her credit for. This makes Mina nervous, and she suspects that Sana is able to tell.

“So, how have you been doing?”

Mina wonders what is her angle as the older girl directs her to a table after both of them have been called to get their order.

“Is this about Momo unnie?”

“Of course not! We know each other right? Not everything is about Momo,” Sana smiles kindly, “I just want to know how have you been. We haven’t really talked since you came back.”

 _Okay, maybe it is a little bit about Momo._ But Sana is being honest, she has been worried for Mina as well. She just knows Momo’s side better. Sana thinks both girls are remarkable and they’re kind of her cute dongsaengs. _Momo isn’t really younger than Sana, but she can be a bit of an idiot so Sana feels the need to protect her as well._

Mina gives Sana a shy smile, “I’ve been just alright, Sana unnie. I’ve been getting by.”

For someone that doesn’t speak a lot or too loudly, Mina is kind of straightforward.

“Is it still hard to talk about it?”

“A little bit.”

“Is it because it’s unnie?”

Mina shakes hear head no, “I just, it feels foolish that I’m still so affected by this.”

“It’s not foolish. It’s the way first loves work. They never quite go away, you know?”

Mina gives her a questioning look and Sana just answers with a cheeky smile.

“Will it ever…feel okay again – without her?”

“That really depends. If you really want it, it will eventually pass. It could take a really long time, and maybe something, a feeling, a memory, will always remain" Sana exhales tiredly, "but you learn to feel differently.”

She gives Mina a leveled look, “do you want it to?”

[…]

_Mina is seated between a couple of rambunctious girls that she thinks are Momo’s friends from a Hip Hop dance class. She wonders if she looks as out of place as she feels._

_She stares at her watch. The strobing lights and loud music have been getting more annoying by the minute._

_Momo has been gone for half an hour now._

_Mina knows she is kind of clingy. At times like this she wonders if Momo feels suffocated by her, and feels the need to run away when she gets the chance._

_She is sipping her beer glumly when a hand appears in front of her face._

_“Let’s get some air.”_

_Sana drags her outside the club and Mina is relieved to feel the chill against her skin._

_“Are you cold?”_

_“I’m okay.”_

_“Not your kind of scene?”_

_“I…I just feel a bit awkward. That’s all.”_

_“And Momo?”_

_“Um, having a dance battle somewhere, I think,” Mina smiles._

_“Not a fan?”_

_Mina’s eyes go wide and she flaps her hands in denial, “I didn’t want to crowd her.”_

_“You two are gross,” Sana says good-naturedly._

[…]

Momo’s sweating up a storm. She’s been in the practice room for at least three hours.

She’s _exhausted._

“Trying to kill yourself through dancing?” Sana comments as she enters the room

She shortly trips against the leg of a chair in the corner and goes down with a squeal.

Momo stares flatly, “Serves you right.”

Sana whines girlishly as she gets up, “Ungh.”

“Are you alright?”

“What’s new, really?” She sits down while massaging her right foot, “Ah right, spoke with Mina today.”

“What?”

“Yeah, bumped into her at Starbucks…the one across campus?”

Momo nods with wide eyes, “Uh, what did you talk about?”

“I just asked how she was,” Sana waves her hand dismissively. She then stands up and starts stretching. When she catches Momo’s expectant eyes she just says, “She’s still charming.”

And that is that.

[…]

Momo is _inhaling_ cereal in the living room when Sana gets back home. She puts her bag down.

“You don’t have a thing for Mina, right?” is the first thing Momo says. It’s not like she has always been wary of their interactions, but she notices the way Sana seems to fit with Mina in a way most people don’t. She won’t admit it bothered her at a point in time.

Sana stares at Momo’s squinty eyes for a full five seconds before erupting in laughter.

“Because I bumped into her at Starbucks?”

“You said she was charming.”

Sana keeps a motherly smile on her face, short of laughing once again.

“Answer me,” Momo whines.

Sana gives in, chuckling, “I don’t, not like that. But she’s _lovely_ , Momo. Surely, I’m not the only one who notices.”

She pats Momo’s head on the way to her room and Momo stays on the couch, feeling vaguely threatened.

[…]

“Unnie.”

Nayeon embraces Mina as soon as the girl is near enough.

“Been a while. How was it, the other night?” Nayeon asks nonchalantly and Mina hits her lightly in the arm.

“We almost died! Because of Nayeon unnie.”

“I thought you wanted to have fun!”

Mina whines cutely and Nayeon smiles with all of her teeth.

“Bunny.”

Nayeon scoffs and Mina giggles lightly, “You seem in a good mood, Mina.”

“I’m getting better.”

“Is it Momo?”

Mina fiddles a bit with her hands, “Probably. Am I stupid?”

“Of course you are.”

[…]

_Neither Momo nor Mina are particularly loud people, so instead of getting in screaming matches they sit in oppressing silence with hurt expressions on their faces._

_Their interactions have been getting more and more awkward. Tension rising. No physical contact._

_The source of this dark mood is a complete mystery to Momo._

_They have always been different, with Mina. Different backgrounds, interests and whatnot. However, recently Mina has been pulling back, and Momo is completely on the dark. She has no idea what is going on._

_They get into petty discussions, over the smaller of things, and Mina’s voice has gotten somehow colder._

_Momo gets home from such an encounter with Mina, and she bangs the door. Hard._

_“Trouble in paradise?” Sana says, hoping it will relieve the mood a bit but Momo’s face is scrunched up in anger, and her best friend realises things have really gone south._

_“Momo, what happened?”_

_“I just–I don’t understand what she wants from me!”_

_“What do you mean? Mina?”_

_“Who else? Of course Mina,” Momo’s shoulders fall, “She’s been distancing herself from me, for a while now. And I don’t understand what’s wrong.”_

_“Well, have you asked?”_

_Momo glares back, “Of course I have. I have tried everything.”_

_[…]_

_Mina goes back home and straight into Nayeon’s arms, eyes already welling with tears._

_“What happened?” Nayeon’s face creases with worry._

_“I–I’m not sure what I’m doing, Nayeon unnie,” Mina sniffles, “I feel so much resentment towards Momo.”_

_Nayeon frowns, “Resentment?”_

_Mina stares at the ground sorrowfully, trying to contain the tears that are already rolling down the bridge of her nose._

_“I feel like,” Mina swallows saliva._

_There is no easy way for her to admit this. To be honest it hurts her pride a little bit, but more than that it makes her feel small. Unworthy._

_“I feel like Momo will never love me the way I want her to. Will never love me…as much as I love her.”_

_Nayeon isn’t surprised by Mina’s statement. But it is hard hearing it in her broken voice._

_Nayeon’s older and she is no stranger to heartbreak. People love differently. Mina is the kind that loses herself, love that burns just a tad too bright._

_She knows Momo loves Mina, she can tell. She can also tell Momo’s laid back attitude and just how she is constantly going through life in a daze, might have given the younger girl the feeling that Momo takes their relationship casually._

_Sometimes, even when there is love, people just don’t fit the way they’re supposed to._

_“I’ve been distancing myself from Momo unnie…I thought that maybe I could stop loving her as much, feel a bit less.”_

_“It hurts the same, doesn’t it?”_

_“I have already given so much. It feels empty.”_

[…]

Momo and Mina have been friendly greeting each other at class for almost a week now.

Momo is worried by how this makes her feel. Even Chaeyoung nods at her cordially, –even if she doesn’t seem all that sympathetic towards Momo yet.–

She wants so badly to spend some time with Mina again. Is she getting too greedy? Should she just be happy with this kind of lukewarm contact?

Sana enters Momo’s room and gives her a curious look.

“You do this really often for it to be normal, you know?”

“Do what.”

“Those whale-like sounds. It’s funny,” she nods in approval, “but also weird,” she adds as an afterthought.

Momo didn’t realise she was making any sounds, she is just so out of it lately…Why is Sana still staring?

“What?” She asks, affronted.

“Dunno. You tell me. What’s wrong?”

There is no escaping Sana when she wants something, and Momo is feeling a little bit desperate –she realises that happens a lot when it comes to Mina.–

“Uh, Mina has been really friendly lately, at class.”

“I know, I’m also there,” at Momo’s dirty look, Sana mouths ‘sorry’ and signals for the blonde girl to continue.

“Do you think it would be wrong…to pursue a friendship with her again?”

“You were never really friends, though,” Sana says matter of factly and Momo is dumbfounded.

It’s true, she realises.

Momo fell for Mina right away, and the time they spent being ‘friends’ before getting together, was never really just ‘friendly.’ It was always full of romantic tension and veiled innuendos.

“Oh!” Sana exclaims, “That might be a really good idea!”

Momo tilts her head in confusion.

“Momo, you cute idiot! That’s it! 'Friends', that might be a good place to start…you know? To get to know each other.”

“Um, we already know each other though…” Momo trails off and Sana clicks her tongue in disapproval.

“No, you don’t. You knew each other once, and even then…”

“Yah!”

“No, I mean, you both moved so fast…” Sana looks on thoughtfully, _kind of destined to crash and burn._

Momo sighs loudly, “I’m kind of wary of…trying to have a friendship with her, I can barely control myself when we are this far. I don’t know if I could handle being so close…and yet, not together.”

“Well, you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.”

Momo stares flatly, “I just–I wonder if I could have a friendship with her, and be content with just that,” she explains but Sana’s eyebrows are still turned upside in confusion, “I won’t pursue a romantic relationship with her–I won’t. Even if we become friends…”

“What? Why not?”

“I won’t hurt her again. I just want to be near her…I want her to be happy.”

[…]

Mina is lounging in her bed. Jasmine perfume already sprayed over her sheets and she inhales deeply. She’s been staring at her ceiling for a while now, her mind blank, eyes fixed on the group of light in the dark stars that make up a spiral form, somehow resembling the milky way.

_Momo really tried._

_She thought that maybe if they went on a date, even under the current cold war they’re having, something good might come out of it. Instead it turns out to be a real train wreck. They are walking towards Mina’s dorm and Momo feels like she’s being punished._

_She can count with her fingers how many times they have exchanged words._

_Mina stares at Momo’s uneasy figure from the corner of her eye. They’re walking towards her room and the temperature’s lowering rapidly._

_“Do you want to come in?” Mina asks in a soft voice but startles Momo all the same. The surprise on Momo’s face is rapidly replaced by dread, and Mina can feel the apprehension rolling off her girlfriend’s body in waves._

_“Sure,” Momo answers quietly, and Mina can’t help but wonder why the older girl would let herself be played like this. If Mina is honest, she was hoping for an excuse. She asked because she wanted Momo to escape, to tell her no._

_She is aware that it is a bit cruel to play mind games like this. But she isn’t doing it to be mean, not really. She just wants to be able to let her go in peace. She wanted Momo to make an excuse, so she can go to bed and tell herself ‘she doesn’t even want you anymore,’ maybe that way her heart won’t fight so hard to keep this relationship going. Maybe she’ll fall out of love._

_It doesn’t make any sense though. Momo is more attentive now that things are on the rocks, than she ever was when the relationship was fine, and it makes Mina feel even more rejected. She wonders why humans work this way, why can’t she let go, one way or another?_

_They climb the stairs in silence and enter her apartment. Momo takes a seat on the couch and Mina goes over to the kitchen._

_She notices a post-it from Nayeon on the fridge’s door, ‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Have fun ;)’_

_She returns to the living room with a pair of glasses filled with white wine. She hands Momo hers wordlessly._

_Momo closes her eyes and inhales deeply. Even when they are like this, like ill-fitting pieces of a puzzle, she thinks the world of Mina._

_Momo is not a quitter._

_She stands up and fits her phone into the dock. Soft music comes out from the speakers and Momo approaches a wide-eyed Mina. She shows her a confident expression, and Mina’s heart doubles it’s rhythm._

_Momo offers her hand, and brings a cautious Mina to her feet. She takes the younger girl’s arms and interlaces them behind her neck, before slowly interlacing her own fingers over Mina’s tailbone._

_There is a knot in Mina’s throat as they waltz softly in place. It’s been long enough without any kind of physical contact between them, that she feels tingly all over. As if this was the first time Momo has held her._

_Momo is not faring much better. She is flushed against Mina’s front and the tip of her ears go red. She feels somehow guilty, that she hasn’t been able to connect with what’s bothering her girlfriend, that they’re going through a difficult time…and still, her body burns for the younger girl’s contact._

_Mina burrows her face in the crook of Momo’s neck, inhaling deeply. She presses her lips softly against Momo’s neck, before swiping her tongue in a full lick._

_Momo freezes in place but Mina doesn’t stop. She keeps planting open mouthed kisses, sucking and nipping at her neck._

_Just this time, Mina tells herself. One last time._

_She takes Momo’s earlobe into her mouth, and the older girl groans._

_It’s been so long._

_Momo’s hands grip her harshly by the hips and pull Mina up, forcing the younger girl to lock her legs around Momo’s waist. She takes them to Mina’s room and places the younger girl against her own bed with a grunt._

_She goes over Mina, fitting herself between lithe legs as Mina drags blunt nails over her upper arms, squeezing at the feeling of flexing muscles._

_When their lips finally collide Mina hums in pleasure while Momo barely holds back a moan. Mina is taking her mouth fully, harshly nipping and soothing with her tongue and Momo is already panting for breath._

_It’s hard and desperate…full of passion._

_And love._

_Mina sees the galaxy painted behind her eyelids, while her throat closes up with choking sobs._

Mina feels tears rolling down the side of her temple. It’s weird. She feels worn out.

The milky way shines brighter over her head and she wonders if maybe her tears have amplified the light.


End file.
